My Ly-lee (Lily)!!

I finally finished this layout I started for Lily, like, a year ago! I think it turned out real nice! She loved it!

Easter Cards for the Girlies!

Just finished the Girlies Easter cards! I had these vintage images on transparencies that I knew I wanted to make the Easter cards with. I also had the fun ribbon for months intending it to be for Easter. Well, it might not match exactly but it is so fun! I also made the little alpha stickers with some cool fonts that Jas had downloaded. She is a Font Addict! Happy Easter!!

New Layouts!

I did it!! I got these images resized so that it didn't take 10 minutes to upload each picture! Woohoo! I never realized that changing the image size, pixels and dpi could result in a faster upload especially for me since I am still using a dial up modem!

26 years ago...

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
I wish they had been there for me 26 years ago.....

26 years ago, when I was a naive, optimistic 21 year old, married for almost 4 years, I gave birth to a stillborn son, Jordan Matthew. I was full term.

But, the nightmare began 3 weeks earlier.

It was a Friday and I woke, looking forward to a warm summer day. As the day wore on I waited and waited to feel Jordan move. He was always so active. Somersaulting to the point that it took my breath away. When 4:30pm rolled around I could stand it no more and called the Dr. I didn’t want to go through the weekend worrying. They agreed and had me come in.

They tried to find a heartbeat and couldn’t. They did an ultrasound and didn’t find the heartbeat. They were sorry.

I was hysterical. I told my Dr. “Take him out!” “Can’t you do a cesarean?” He said “No, because then you will always have to have a cesarean. It’s BEST to wait until you go into labor.” This was in 1982. I remember driving home and wanting to wrap my car around a tree. How could this be real?

I had to live with a dead baby inside me for 3 weeks. It was beyond horrible and when I think back on it I can’t believe I actually lived through it and still have a hold on my sanity. I know I am a changed person though.

I hated going out. People would ask “How much longer do you have?” “Do you have a name picked out?” All the questions people ask, they are excited for you. They didn’t know my story. It was so sad. I was so young.

I went into labor. He was born with his cord twisted like a telephone cord. Wrapped around his neck and then around his leg. Poor little boy.

Afterwards the nurses felt so bad. I will always remember that they wanted to get me an ice cream sundae. I wouldn’t do it. I felt I didn’t deserve it. After all what was to celebrate?

I really wanted to see my son! The doctor said no, it wouldn’t be good for me. The baby had been dead so long that the Dr. said he was starting to decompose. I listened to him.

Dear God, to this day I wish I hadn’t. I wish I would’ve seen my baby. I even called the doctors office and mortuary years later to see if anyone had taken a picture of my baby. I was obsessed with wanting to see him. There was no picture. I remember my mother in law telling me that the mortician had told her that the baby didn’t look that bad. I wish the doctor would’ve let me see him.

I ended up with an infection because not everything came out during the birth. I had to have a D&C. People would tell me, “Well, at least he didn’t die after he was born. It would’ve been much harder for you” and “You can have another one”. What the heck are people thinking????

It took 3 years and 3 miscarriages to finally get a healthy baby born, my daughter Lily. Born cesarean. Then, 2 years later another daughter, Camille. Born V-back at the hospital. Finally, 3 years later my last daughter, Jasmine, was born at home. I never had another son.

I feel so incredibly blessed to have my girls.

I only wish that I would’ve had emotional support back then. My husband got tired of my crying and “dwelling on something you can’t change”. I wish I had a photo.

I am so glad that there is now this wonderful organization to help others. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. I would encourage anyone who goes through this ordeal to have a photo taken. You may think “No, I can’t” but years later you will wish you had.

I know I do.

Valentines are here!!

Loonie! I finally got the Valentines done. I put the last touches on Jasi's this morn. Her's is the one with the "little Bird" poem on it. Cami's is the one with the "bird in the hand" on it and Lily's is the one with the standing bird holding the flower in his beak LOON! How fun!!

Now I am going to go make fresh strawberry cupcakes from Marthas Feb 12th show! Nummy!

Happy Valentines Day Loonie!!

Looney!

Looney!! I still don't have the Valentines uploaded. Actually I am still working on my last one. Hope to finish tonight or tomorrow. I have had a hormone headache for 3 days now. Bummer. So, I have posted this really goofy pic of me and Jas to tide you over Loon. It's me and Jas being LOONS!!

The Big Day....

The big day came and went with dinner at Circle J Cafe and fun little gifts from the girls, a new car stereo from the bigguy (he put it in 2 mos. ago and just informed me it was my birthday gift! BUT, i love it!). The best gifts though are hands down, the cards the girls made me!! Lily's was very elegant with hand drawn pen and ink and ribbon! Jasi's is so funny with Venus rising out of the starbucks cup with my head on THAT bod! I WISH!! And...Camilles just CRACKED me up!! Me and Rob Thomas kissing! She did it on the computer and thought up this whole elaborate card complete with 2 tickets to the "greatest Unknown Love Story" ever shown. She is such a funny girl! I made my German Chocolate cake (I make it every year for myself), the thing must've weighted in at 10 lbs!! So nummy! And, Lily is to thank for that little pack of "donkey" gum I am holding up!! ( I'd like to think the saying is true but alas, things are starting to go south at this age.) She finds the funniest gifts!! Another year older....but I'd like to think wiser too!!

Tags and My Buddy...

Ah, the cold mornings and warmer days...lovely! Days are too warm to fire up the woodstove but the BigGuy says maybe we can start burning on my birthday! Just a few weeks away. I love wood heat! The heat-pump just makes it stuffy and drafty. Anyway.... Here is a photo of the tags me and Buddy made a few weekends ago. We had a good time. And I also posted a layout I did of her in her new glasses! She looks sooo cute! Poor kid couldn't see the chalkboard or overhead at school but didn't tell me until I noticed she couldn't read the TV from the dinner table! Now she's all set!

My new fav paper is CosmoCricket Love Notes!That is what I used on her layout. Ordered the new Basic Grey Fruitcake and Dasher Holiday papers today off of Scrapgal.com. Can't wait for FancyPants Claire deLune to get in the stores too! Love their stuff!

Mmm, cold front moving in and a blustery day!

Lily wonders why......

....there are not as many pictures of her as there are of Cam and Jas on the blog. Hmm, don't know, but I just fixed that! She is so beautiful! The first three were taken on Cam and Jas's modeling day! And the last 2 were taken when Lily got her new Marilyn Monroe shirt! How fun. Can't wait to do some layouts including these pictures.

Me and Jasi visited the new scrapbook store today to see what was new and ended up with some fun Christmas stuff. When we got home we had an art day and made some Christmas tags! (Will post pictures of them later.) It was so fun and it made her in a better mood. She is such a "teenager"! I never had to deal with those moods and attitudes when Lily and Cami were at that age! Guess I've been very lucky.

Supposed to rain tommorrow! Yippee!

New Stuff!

Ahhh, I am finally going to post my "Loonie" friends' birthday card done in a 5 1/2 x 5 1/2 inch format. It is sooooo Loon! Picture was taken from last years Christmas Tea Party when she was opening gifts! HeeHee!

Next is a cool layout of Jasmine. It was photos taken at the Beanery coffeehouse this summer and Camille took it with her 35mm camera, then we scanned it on the 'puter and photoshopped it to make it look soo cool! Fun papers from new Karen Russell collection and Foofala! Finally used some of the many thousands of buttons I have, thanks to Elsie Flannigans new book which I finally just bought!! Fun Fun Fun!! And of course....glitter!!

Mmm, found the new Fine Cooking Holiday issue yesterday during my weekly trek to my fav store, Barnes and Noble. I made the awesome Chocolate Chip Muffins for breakfast this a.m. Fantastic. Also got the new Donna Hay magazine which is total eye candy for a foodie like me. Simple, wonderful recipes to boot!! New Legacy and Stamper's Sampler are out too which made their way into my basket! Ah, my bad, I know!

Well, off to the grocery for me!!! Happy Fall!

PS. It was 37 degrees this morning! Brr! AND, the bigguy has to get into the Pool to disconnect the pump so we can shut' er down for the winter!!HeeHeeHee!!!

Catchin' Up...

Wow, it's been awhile! My friends probably wonder where the heck I have been! Well, just workin' on getting an answer for all the headaches. I went to the neurologist a couple of weeks ago. He wasn't much help. He didn't think it was anything "bad in my brain" (Thank God) , so no MRI, which is FINE with me! He just thinks it's stress, which alot of the headaches probably are, but the ones I call"Brainswells", well, I am not so sure they are stress induced. So, now I am working with a Naturopath/Homeopath, and have kinda got a handle on the PMS stuff (my family thanks the Dr. for that) and then I am seeing a cranial/sacrial therapist and I think she really might be able to help. Yesterday she gave me some relief from the pressure in the back of my head. AND then, next Monday I am seeing a accupuncturist who is going to test for food sesitivities. Whew, I am one busy gal, just not in the areas I want to be busy in! Needless to say it all cost a small fortune and the "BigGuy" is on his pitypot about it. Oh well. Moving on......


The Hal Ketchum Concert was totally awesome! What a great performer and wonderful voice!! SOOO Fun!

The girls are all back in school. Jas started Sept 5th and Cam & Lil just went back yesterday. They are commuting to the University together. We had to buy a new car for them (whoa was that stressful as the BigGuy has such a hard time letting go of the greenbacks!), I insisited on dual airbags, how can the BigGuy argue that?? So, we got 'em a 97 Toyota Camry with 87K miles. Very nice car, actually it's the nicest car we have ever owned. Jeez, kinda sad (; Now, if only he'd get his truck running again and repair the Honda that he wrecked, for Jas to drive when she gets her license, still working on that, ugh!

And..I love the new fall mornings!! I just can't wait for fall and winter, Thanksgiving and Christmas! Still not really planning on the having the Christmas Teaparty this year but it is such a tradition that it feels weird not planning it!! The pics are from last years party, so pretty!

Last but certainly not least, me and the BigGuy celebrated our 27 wedding anniversary Sept 1st! It was actually very nice and I got a new bling too!!

PS. Cool new Fav's:
FUN Books:" Imaginary Men" and "Invisible Lives" by Anjali Banerjee
"The Little Lady Agency" by Hester Browne
Interesting Exciting read: "The Trudeau Vector" by Juris Jurjevics

Awesome Pic's of Cami and Jasi

Cami and jasi took "modeling" pictures today and they turned out sooo gorgeous!!! They also "photoshopped" them and made them look even cooler! WOW! I can't wait to print some out and make some scrap pages with them. That will give me something to do since tommorrow everyone is going back to school and jobs and I will be left alone to my own devices ):

Some new Fav's....

Oh yeah! I have a new favorite book! It's "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak. So, so, so breathtaking, wonderful, poetic, melancholic, awesome and UNFORGETTABLE!! I just loved it and I will never forget this book. It is written by a young man. Incredible! Please read it! (Loon, wait till your birthday please!)


On the music front my new favorite is Joshua Radin, "We were here". Love the slow melancholy music of his. ALSO, just out today.....Ray LaMontagne "Till the sun turns black". Waaay soulful voice! Great CD! (sorry no pic!)

Cami 's Big Day, Wonton Salad and Creme Brulee...

Ahhh.. finally I get to blog! Cami turned big 19 on the 14th and she got the day off of work. She requested NO cake, maybe just a fruit salad! Hunh??!! I said "Cam, are you sure?" and she was adamant, "No cake." Well, what is a bday and no cake and what kinda mom am I if I didn't make her a bday dessert? Sooo, the weekend before her bday I picked up some beautiful blackberries and raspberries from the grower's market and decided to make, "in secret", Creme Brulee! I had a selfish reason too. I wanted that "used" vanilla bean to make vanilla coffee with! She also wanted Wonton Chicken Salad and Mumbaldi (with our garden's eggplant.) A chinese and greek dinner! The wonton salad was sooo tasty and the mumbaldi was to die for, soaked up with fresh bread and butter! The Creme Brulee with melted sugar (I got to use the kitchen torch, scary thought!!) and topped with fresh mixed berries....it was all divine! She scored on the gift front too. Jas was quick to quip "Yeah, this is like Christmas for you and Lily's birthdays and mine was like Valentines Day!" What a girl! I just shake my head. Camille had a great time and just loved the fact that I didn't listen to her and I went ahead and made a special birthday dessert! All is good. And, thank goodness the birthdaze are OVER!!

Ahhh.... The Big Day!

Lily's birthday was sooo nice! I got up early to put her cake together. I "tested" it so much though, that by the time we had it I was kinda sick of it! Really, though, it was awesome. We had vanilla coffee, fresh peaches with blueberries and cream and Cook's Quick Cinnamon Rolls(May/June 2002) for breakfast. It was delicious!

We went to dinner at River's Edge and sat out side and watched the Rogue roll by. It was absolutely gorgeous! Just the right temperature and a small breeze. Since she was "legal" she ordered a Choco-tini. Mmm, it was delish, kinda strong. I swear, I am just a wimp. I had THREE sips of that drink and I could feel it! No kidding. I don't drink ever anyway but I don't think I can tolerate alcohol anymore, maybe because of all the migraine stuff I've taken and continue to take. Hmm, just as well I guess. Then Cami had 2 sips, and she is just skin and bones, she felt it too! ( This is a quote from Cami on the way home "Does alcohol give you gas? We just crack up. "I just want to know!" More laughing from us. "Geez, never mind, whatever!") It was an awfully fun dinner! The "big guy" just sat there, surrounded by his beautiful women.

We came home and opened gifts. I don't know why I always overdo everything but it was like Christmas for Lily! I mean, I don't feel bad cuz she is such a wonderful daughter and it WAS her 21st! The digital camera came at the very last minute yesterday. I was sweatin' I'll tell you! She had no idea either. I had her open everything else first then saved the camera for last. She was sooo surprised, it was great. The cake was wonderful, even though we were all full from the dinner. (I had blackened tuna salad. I had no idea that the tuna was left pink inside and I had a hard time eating it, actually I gave it to the "big guy" and snitched some of his salmon).

Anyway, it was really nice and, I now have to gear up for Camille's 19th on Sunday! Yikes!! I think I've gained 10 lbs already! What was I thinking , having their birthdays soo close!

P.S. The order of photos is: Lily being Marilyn, Me & Lily at restuarant, Jasi copping an attitude, beautiful Camille and "The Cake".

Just Stuff.....

I am just a bad blogger! I think it has something to do with still being on "dial-up" because everything takes sooo long to upload! Well, that is a good excuse, huh?

Anyway, Pearliss is doing just great now! Got him transferred to his new "high potency" pellet food and Cami says he looks soo good. I think he looks "sooo" good because I took the collar off and the poor bird was finally able to groom! He was a "groomin' fool" for a while there after I first took the collar off! Such a funny bird!


Finally finished a new page. This is of Cami, during her and Jasi's "cowboy photo shoot". The camera loves this girl! I just really want to create some more art. Man, there is just no creativity there! It is soo very frustrating!


I met my Mom at the Grower's Market this past weekend and got some nummy rasberries to make Giada's "Raspberry Almond Tart". So simple and easy and goooood! We had lunch at Circle J Cafe and it was delish! I am so glad that she is in our town now, sorry Mom and Sis! She used to be in Crescent City but decided to move over the mountains to my part of the valley! I lucky! I split a hot pastrami sandwich with Jas and it also came with sweet potato fries that were awesome! The sandwich itself was on the best homemade roll! I can't wait to go back!

And....Lilyann's 21st Birthday is tommorrow!!! I just can't believe my "baby" is turning 21!!! I am anxiously waiting for a digital camera I ordered for her, to get here UPS! I am hoping it comes today! I am also making Caprial's Coconut Cream Cake for the party. She loves coconut and in honor of the 21st I thought I'd go to the lengths to make this cake. Will post pic's when I have it done. So far, the coconut cream filling is delish ( I used the Mexican Vanilla I got at Market of Choice in Ashland this week and a whole vanilla bean, which I can now use in my Gevalia coffee this morning....oooooo nummers!) and the buttercream frosting starts with a pastry cream! Then you whip it into a creamed butter/sugar mixture....mmmmmmm good!!! Can't wait!! Happy Birthday Lils!

Hmmm, well I think I'll go make some fresh blueberry muffins to go with that Vanilla coffee this morning........oinkers!

Fun photos.....

I love to tweak photos in photoshop! I took some pics of my beautiful Mandavilla and they turned out sooo pretty! I then tweaked it along with a photo of some pansies that had a beautiful butterfly sitting on the edge of the pot!

Pearliss went to the Dr. today to check the "bubble collar" and he said we can start easing him out of it! Uh, Whaaat? Evidently I have to take the collar off when we are around the bird and put it back on when he is alone and when he goes to bed at night! Oh My Geez! I'm thinkin' I should be getting paid for this?